Multimillion Dollar Casinos Opening in El Nido

"Whatever you can do, I can do better."

That seems to be the quote in the mind of Palawan mayor Nieves Cabumalda-Rosemto after she approved the construction of a series of casinos in El Nido. "Magkakaroon din sa Boracay edi magkaroon na din sa Palawan. She said. "Hindi naman sa gumagaya kami. Feeling ko yan ang uso ngayon."

To nobody's surprise, the palace approved of this project.

"Aba, bakit hinde?" President Duwerte exclaimed. "Kung matutuwa ang mga Pilipino at mga poreyner edi ituloy na yan."

 



Meanwhile, tourists visiting at El Nido can expect a new type of tour. Tour companies are fixing a new tour called "Tour $." In this tour, you won't be riding a boat to go to different islands and lagoons. 

Instead, you'll be casino hopping. Backpackers who are looking to meet other travelers are not advised to join this tour. It's expected to be composed of mostly retired old men with tummies the size of The Big Lagoon.

"It's a tour like you've never experienced." tour guide Joyce Parungao said. "You'll be snorkeling under boodles of cash."




As I'm typing this, activists are already on their way to the streets to stage a rally to try and do something about this project. Their slogans all read one thing and that's........
























HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

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